The Early Bird
“Martini With Your Olives, Sir?”
Ralph’s First Date
Missing Lunch
The Big Cheese
On the Way to the Sci-Fi Convention
MEET YORICK AND HIS FRIENDS! CAST OF CHARACTERS: YORICK: Home health aide for Mr. Coon. Always the nice guy. Yorick remains the bastion of sanity among his circle of nutty friends. MR. … Continue reading →
Where to Meet Girls
Don’t Drink the Water
Ralph’s Eating Disorder
Working for Peanuts
Bob and the Bicyclists
Bob Learns That Clothes Really do Make the Man
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THE ORIGIN OF MADAME MANHANDS: PART VII or STOMPING UP THE STAIRCASE TO SUCCESS—ONE SKULL AT A TIME! Greetings, most honored reader! Now as our chronicle of the rise of Madame Manhands comes to a close, … Continue reading →
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THE ORIGIN OF MADAME MANHANDS: PART VI or THE ABC’s OF ASSASSINATION Greetings again, most honored reader! Now we see how Magorious has honed Manhands to be his ultimate weapon. “How can I kill you? Let me … Continue reading →
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THE ORIGIN OF MADAME MANHANDS: PART V or MY GUARDIAN ANGEL WAS A TYPE III DEMON? Greetings again, most honored reader! Ah, now we at last discover the identity of Manhands’ mysterious guardian angel who saved her those … Continue reading →
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THE ORIGIN OF MADAME MANHANDS: PART IV or I WAS A TEENAGE ASSASSIN! Greetings, most honored reader! All know how a dog, beaten as a pup, will grow up mean and tough. But it isn’t just dogs that … Continue reading →
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THE ORIGIN OF MADAME MANHANDS: PART III or MANHANDS MANHANDLES MANY MEAN MEN! Greetings, most honored reader! As we delve DEEPER and DEEPER into Madame Manhands’ past, her childhood, we begin to understand better the … Continue reading →
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THE ORIGIN OF MADAME MANHANDS: PART II or A TALE OF TWO CHILDHOODS Greetings, most honored reader! It’s plain that Manhands has had a rough and tough childhood: always in fear of being … Continue reading →
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THE ORIGIN OF MADAME MANHANDS: PART I or BIG FOOT SIGHTING IN WOMEN’S SAUNA ROOM! Greetings again, most honored reader! Now, at last, we see Madame Manhands as she finally takes Nikki into her … Continue reading →
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MEETING MADAME MANHANDS’ MYSTERIOUS BENEFACTOR? or MANHANDS TAKES OFF THE KID GLOVES! Greetings again, most honored reader! Those who’ve said that crime does not pay should take a good look at Madame Manhand’s secret backup … Continue reading →
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MANY WEAPONS HATH THE DOPPELGANGER or HUNTING THE HUNTER! Greetings, most honored reader! Bryan thought he was on top of the situation, but was blissfully unaware of how close the enemy really was—until it … Continue reading →
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“TO SLEEP, PERCHANCE TO DREAM” or REVISIONIST DREAMING? Greetings most honored reader! While Bryan was getting mashed into Dwarf pie and Nikki escorted off to see the Crimson Cape Gang’s “secondary hideout,” Seth was up in … Continue reading →
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BRYAN GETS BEAT WHILE BRAGOT GETS THE SHAFT or SLEEPING ON THE JOB! Greetings most honored reader! It would seem that the tide has quickly turned in favor of the “bad guys.” Poor Bryan. Some days it just … Continue reading →
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CREATURE FEATURE HIGHLIGHT: THE IGAGII–THE MAN-BEASTS OF OREGEN PENINSULA! or MASHED BY A MAN-BEAST! Greetings most honored reader! Magorious is definitely making things interesting. Not content with backing down or escaping as Madame Manhands implores, he’s … Continue reading →
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DWARVES: NOT JUST SHORT HUMANS: PART III or DWARF POWER TO THE RESCUE! Greetings, most honored reader! Ah, a mystery wrapped within a riddle rolled up in an enigma… my favorite! It would seem that Magorious’ ranks … Continue reading →
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BRYAN SEES THE LIGHT! . . . FINALLY. or SHAK-RLA VOTES WITH HER FEET Greetings, most honored reader! Did you ever have a boss who acted like he knew everything, could do no wrong, and when he … Continue reading →
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NIKKI GIVES NEW MEANING TO “EMPTY-HEADED” or TURN YOUR HEAD TO THE RIGHT AND COUGH Greetings again, most honored reader! Have you ever been in a situation where you had to keep your mind completely free and … Continue reading →
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DOING THE MONSTER MASH or THERE’S NO GANGER LIKE A DOPPELGANGER! Greetings, most honored reader! What exactly makes for a monster? Generally, one thinks of something hideous, frightening, and inhuman. A monster can also be … Continue reading →
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RIDDLES WRAPPED WITHIN ENIGMAS STUFFED WITH JUICY MYSTERIES… or MAGORIOUS’ MAJOR PLANS FOR ADVANCEMENT Welcome again, most honored reader! Now we see that Bordertown doesn’t just have a small crime problem, but a major infestation, enough … Continue reading →
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I.M. GRUBLEGRAB: MAGICAL, MYSTERY MAN? or JUST ANOTHER FAT RICH GUY? Greetings and salutations, most honored reader! Welcome to the latest transmission of the Saga of the Terrific Trio. Nikki, disguised as the crime lord, Scrap, … Continue reading →
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THE BUSINESS OF BORDERTOWN IS BUSINESS (PART II) or “RUB, A-DUB, DUB! THREE MEN IN A COMMERCIAL HUB!” Greetings, most honored reader! If you were like me, you might have felt your ears redden at the irony … Continue reading →
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THE BUSINESS OF BORDERTOWN IS BUSINESS or THE SECRET TO MY SUCCESS Greetings, most honored reader! You once had a leader that promised to put “a chicken in every pot.” Not a bad offering (except for the … Continue reading →
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MY DADDY THE DICTATOR: PART II or THE NIGHT TIME WORRIES OF DESPOTS Greetings, most honored reader! As I’ve noted several times in these transmissions, (notably, in OUR DADDY THE DICTATOR, and OUR DADDY THE SUPER-VILLAIN WARLORD!) the … Continue reading →
Book 4: “Alone Into The Underwyrld!” Cover
Book 3: “Death On Mt. Undenkhark!” Epilogue III End
THE CURIOUS CASE OF THE REINCARNATING WARRIOR-SHAMAN (PART IV) or YOU JUST CAN’T KEEP A GOOD BARBARIAN DOWN! Greetings, most honored reader! The Eternal Chessboard of Good vs. Evil begins again to set its pieces … Continue reading →
Book 3: “Death On Mt. Undenkhark!” Epilogue II
INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS: PART III OR “YOU CAN CALL ME GOPPO, OR YOU CAN CALL ME BOPPO, OR YOU CAN CALL ME BELIAL, OR YOU CAN CALL ME BELPHEGOR, OR YOU CAN CALL ME BEELZEBUB, OR … Continue reading →
Book 3: “Death On Mt. Undenkhark!” Epilogue I
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AT LAST! THE END! or (JUST THE END OF THE BEGINNING?) Ah, at last—victory! Our heroes have vanquished the bad guys (and gals); they win the prize; everyone goes home happy and they all go on to … Continue reading →
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OF BAFFLED BLOOD-SUCKERS, POCKET-PICKING WIZARDS, AND FREE ARTIFACTS or VICTORY!—AT LAST? Cognescentii greetings, most honored reader! And welcome again to the Saga of the Terrific Trio! It appears that at long last, despite the adversities they’ve faced, … Continue reading →
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SETH TICKLES TARNAK WITH HIS TALL TAIL or “EVEN IF I WIN—I LOSE!” Welcome, most honored reader! Ah, poor Seth, always left holding the bag, drawing the short stick, and the bad end of the bargain. Even … Continue reading →
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SGT. MAC MAKES A MOST MOMENTOUS DECISION or TURNING OF THE TIDE? Welcome, again, most honored reader! How much difference a few moments can make in turning the tide not only of our lives, but especially … Continue reading →
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MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE RANCH IN THE OTHER “UNDERWYRLD”… or WHEN THE CAT’S AWAY… Greetings again, most honored reader! Hmmm….if our young heroes weren’t so busy fighting off flying fangs, claws, talons, axes, spears, and swords, they … Continue reading →
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AROUND, AROUND IT GOES, BUT WHERE T’NACAIKAKU STOPS—NOBODY KNOWS! or TAKING A GRUDGE ENTIRELY TOO FAR Welcome, most honored reader! Ah, poor Seth. He just can’t get a break. Sent to plant the Thinker’s powerful New Magic … Continue reading →
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THE PECULIAR ABILITIES AND VULNERABILITIES OF VAMPIRES or ANASHA’S GOODYEAR WARRANTY: 65,000 MILES OR 10,000 YEARS Greetings, most honored reader! Welcome again to our strange tale as our heroes confront the masterminds of the mayhem which is … Continue reading →
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OGRES AND VAMPIRES AND GROCS—OH, MY! or THE RINGS OF ICE SPELL VS. THE GOODYEAR TIRE Greetings, most honored reader! Welcome again to our Rumble in the Stone Jungle as our heroes finally square off against the … Continue reading →
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IGNORANCE IS BLISS or RESCUING THE RESCUERS Greetings, most honored reader! Ah, youth! That time of life when all things seem possible. But as one of your great commentators noted, “Youth is wasted on the young!” So … Continue reading →
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HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE THAT OF A VAMPIRE SCORNED or ONE LAST ATTEMPT AT TURNING BACK THE INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS Welcome again, most honored reader to the ongoing saga of the Terrific Trio! Oh, … Continue reading →
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DARYA’S DREADFUL DILEMMA or “TO SAVE YOU, WHY MUST I KILL YOU?” (… Part II) Cognescentii greetings, most honored reader! Last week we saw the Grey Archer join up with Seth, Bryan, and Nikki to continue … Continue reading →
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OGRE BEATS DWARF; BOWMAN BEATS OGRE! or RESCUING THE RESCUERS Greetings, most honored reader, to another exciting installment of the Terrific Trio! Hee-Haw! “Would’ya look at that old man go!!” indeed! Salvation often comes in the … Continue reading →
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THE NOSFERATU VS THE THINKER: WOULD THE REAL ÜBERMENSCH PLEASE STAND UP! OR THE THINKER SEES THE LIGHT Greetings, most honored reader! Ah, now it seems we at last see the deeper game, a game … Continue reading →
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IN THIS CORNER, THE HEAVY, HEAVY HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONS OF THE WYRLD—THE OGRES! or TRAPPED IN A GAUNTLET OF OGRE POWER Cognescentii greetings, most honored reader! Let’s leave Darya and Lucretius for a moment and look a … Continue reading →
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THIS WEEK’S MAIN EVENT: ELVES VS. VAMPIRES! or INTRODUCING: VICZACK’S VITAL VAMPIRIC STRENGTH CALCULATOR Greetings again, most honored reader! Hmmm… now this was an interesting exchange between Darya and Lucretius. Let’s rewind the tape a … Continue reading →
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Book 3: “Death On Mt. Undenkhark!” Page 44
Book 3: “Death On Mt. Undenkhark!” Page 43
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TRAVELOGUE TRIO: TANK FROM E4 TO F5; OGRES: BOULDER FROM D6 TO TANK—CHECK AND MATE! 18 July 2015 Welcome, most honored reader, to transmissions from the End of Time and the Hallowed Halls of the Cognescentii as I continue my … Continue reading →
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Book 3: “Death On Mt. Undenkhark!” Page 40
TRAVELOGUE THE TREACHERY OF THE NOSFERATU (PART II) or 1,246-YEAR-OLD VAMPIRE SEEKING LIVING MALE OR FEMALE FOR BLOOD, TORTURE, AND GOOD TIME! 4 July 2015 Greetings, most honored reader, to yet another transmission of the Tales of the Traveller as … Continue reading →
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Book 3: “Death On Mt. Undenkhark!” Page 38
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TRAVELOGUE CHARACTER SPOTLIGHT: LUCRETIUS-THE WANDERING PRICE (PART I) 20 June 2015 Welcome again, most honored reader, to the pages of the Tales of the Traveller as I recount the adventures of Bryan, Nikki, and Seth, our “Terrific Trio!” For the … Continue reading →
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Book 3: “Death On Mt. Undenkhark!” Page 34
TRAVELOGUE THE TRIO ON A MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR or THE SHOCK AND AWE SHOW: COMING TO A CAVE NEAR YOU! 13 June 2015 Greetings again, most honored reader! It looks as if the kids and the Thinker are having their … Continue reading →
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Book 3: “Death On Mt. Undenkhark!” Page 32
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Book 3: “Death On Mt. Undenkhark!” Page 30
TRAVELOGUE GELMUT: SORRY, GOPPO, NO UNTERMENSCHEN ALLOWED IN THE HALLOWED HALLS OF THE SUPERMEN and THE THINKER LETS THE TRIO PLAY WITH HIS TOYS 30 May 2015 Greetings again, most honored reader! Hmmm… things didn’t quite go the way little … Continue reading →
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Book 3: “Death On Mt. Undenkhark!” Page 28
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TRAVELOGUE CHARACTER SPOTLIGHT: THE INCREDIBLE ALYONA, WARRIOR-SHAMAN OF THE LUKAS TRIBE-A STONE-AGE SUPER-HERO!-AND…. DRUG ADDICT? (PART II) 16 May 2015 Deepest greetings, most honored reader, and thank you again for stopping by! Things are looking a little scary for Alyona … Continue reading →
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Book 3: “Death On Mt. Undenkhark!” Page 24
TRAVELOGUE SNOPSING THE THINKER! and GOPPO’S MOMENT OF TRUTH 9 May 2015 Greetings once more, most honored reader, and thank you for visiting the Tales of the Travel!, where I, your host, now recount the epic Saga of the Terrific … Continue reading →
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Book 3: “Death On Mt. Undenkhark!” Page 22
Book 3: “Death On Mt. Undenkhark!” Page 21
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TRAVELOGUE THE TRIO COME OF AGE! 26 April 2015 Greetings again, most honored reader, and wel-cToerrnnentcoTannoofther installment of the Saga of the Terrific Trio! Things are heating up now, aren’t they? First, the kids knock out a platoon of Grocs … Continue reading →
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TRAVELOGUE CHARACTER SPOTLIGHT DEPT: THE THINKER-THE WYRLD’S GREATEST SELF-MADE MAN! PART II! 21 March 2015 Greetings, most honored reader, and welcome againl Now we at long last see that the Thinker is not just another pretty wizard face: he has … Continue reading →