EARNING THREE BLACK BELTS IN JUST ONE SHOT

or

TO VAXX OR NOT TO VAXX—THAT IS THE QUESTION

Greetings, most honored reader!

Welcome again to the pages of the Tales of the Traveller.

If you’re going to paddle about in the depths of the Wyrld, you’d better be tough, wily, and able to handle yourself in nearly any situation.

Some of the creatures that call the Underwyrld their permanent place of residence would make Goblins and even Ogres look cute and cuddly. Thus, even the Ogre princess helping me—despite her ten feet in height and thousand pounds in weight—could easily find herself the meal of one of these other more, eh, “monstrous” monsters. In my last TALE, we met a dragon. That is just one. There are many others.

Fortunately, the Cognescentii long ago mastered the process of instant knowledge, instant learning, via our ILCs (Instant Learning Capsules). Thanks to these miracle “medicines” one can become almost anything almost instantly! Now Doh-Doh will understand how to use her very body as a living weapon, giving her a leg up (pun every bit intended) against even larger, stronger opponents.

Unfortunately, such instant learning, like the Fruit of Forbidden Knowledge, comes at a price. After all, in learning anything worth learning, one needs to exert oneself, and it is the trying, failing, sweating, and finally mastering some skill or area of knowledge that not only awards one with that skill—good for its own sake, but also builds self-esteem and character as well. Unfortunately, I just didn’t have the luxury to allow Doh-Doh the time to learn this knowledge the old-fashioned way (much less the black belt experts to teach it!).

Even more ominous is the idea of someone administering some kind of substance to you without your permission, your knowledge, or even your understanding of what you’ve been given. True, I gave Doh-Doh inoculations which would make her invulnerable to all terrestrial (and many extraterrestrial!) diseases. However, included was also mystical nano geo-tracking and failsafe shutdown vaccines to put her to sleep (just in case she somehow got a little out of control). Thus, her soul now belonged to the company store.

The moral of the story: beware wizards bearing gifts.

Until next time, most honored reader,

With Cognescentii blessings,

~The Traveller