THIS WEEK’S MAIN EVENT: ELVES VS. VAMPIRES!
INTRODUCING: VICZACK’S VITAL VAMPIRIC STRENGTH CALCULATOR
Greetings again, most honored reader!
Hmmm… now this was an interesting exchange between Darya and Lucretius. Let’s rewind the tape a moment, shall we?
LUCRETIUS: Darya! Stop this! Don’t you see? You’re too powerful! If you become one of the Vampires, they’ll be able to take over the entire surface Wyrld!
DARYA: Yes, my love! I am powerful! Powerful enough to even resist the Nosferatu! But you could not! For though you are strong, you are still only a human—while I—I am one of the Elder Race, the first born! Never tire, ever strong, and unbelievably quick!
What do we make of Darya’s claim that due to her power, she could even resist the Nosferatu? Hmmm…probably not (though she could resist better than Lucretius, as she suggests!) And what of Lucretius’ statement that if Darya were to be turned into a Vampire, the Nosferatu would “be able to take over the entire surface wyrld!” To this I say, yes—just maybe! So his concerns are merited.
Let’s go a little deeper now into all this. As I explained some time ago (HERE, to be precise), living organisms undergo several (if not many) drastic physical changes upon turning into a vampire on the Wyrld. In my earlier transmission, I quipped that they became “stronger than a bear, faster than a mongoose and tougher than a Goodyear tire.” So obviously, if every Nosferatu victory robs the good guys of one of their prime people and sends him over to the side of the bad guys (i.e the Vampires), that alone will steadily give the Nosferatu an edge, over the long run. But if you also remember my adage about becoming stronger than an Ogre, tougher than your average Goodyear tire, etc., then that edge becomes even sharper. The question I have yet to answer for you, however, most honored reader, is just how much sharper?
I’m glad you asked! And knowing this, I did a little research for you to find out (after all, what is a local, friendly neighborhood Cognescentii wizard good for?). According to the retired Cognescentii wizard Viczack, who studied exactly just this question (and who apparently had way too much time on his hands up there in the Hallowed Halls of the Cognescentii…), the typical specimen turned into a Nosferatu could expect his (or her) strength to increase, on average, by a factor of ten. So, returning to the hypothetical case of your poor Aunt Betsa (alluded to in earlier transmissions) who while picking mushrooms in the forest got just a little too close to a Nosferatu spy-hole just a little too late one evening, who, being older now and more sedentary (more used to making jams and knitting) and only capable of military pressing about 70 lbs (if you could get her out of her rocking chair to test for you), would now be able to press 700 lbs as a vampire. Yikes! However, unless they’re trying to raise quick shock-troop armies, the Nosferatu would much more prefer to get someone like Darya or Lucretius.
Viczack also discovered that a Vampire’s power is also augmented by each organism he or she turns and places within psychic control. He calculated that each new turned, controlled vampire increases the master vampire’s strength by approximately 1%. Thus, a powerful vampire lord that had a hundred vampires under his control would be twice as powerful as when he was originally turned.
On the face of it, then, it would appear that Lucretius would be the better candidate. After all, the mystic pool of Ualami gave him the strength of ten men and iron-hard skin. The poison, which will eventually kill him if he isn’t treated, is no problem. Cobra poison doesn’t bother vampires. At full strength, Lucretius, stronger than an Ogre, as strong as a Giant, is much stronger than even Darya.
The First Peoples (the “Elves” as they were derisively called on the Wyrld) should in no way be confused with the soft, weak faerie folk of your world’s fairy tales. The “Elves” of the Wyrld are anything but weak! As I made mention long ago, the First Peoples, the Elder Race, as Darya says, already had a civilization 150,000 years earlier when the humans and Dwarves were still living in caves. Long ago they had boosted the strength, health, longevity, and general vitality of their peoples via genetic engineering (and later magic!). This contributes to their much greater strength, speed, and durability over that of an average human’s. The Elves are also somewhat denser than a human of the same size. By my calculations, an Elf is 2.7 times stronger than a typical human. Darya, who could probably press over 400 lbs, would be immensely strong ten times stronger as a vampire. Yet, Lucretius, who already could press over 1,000 lbs, would be stronger still!
So why is Lucretius right that Darya would be the better catch? Because he knows about Darya’s (and all Elves’) telepathic connection. If the Nosferatu tapped into that, they might very well gain some type of influence over the Wyrld’s oldest and most powerful civilization. And as for Darya’s assertion that she could resist being turned into a Nosferatu: this is bravado to put Lucretius at ease. Though some Elves might be able to exert such powerful molecular control over their own bodies, Darya isn’t one of them.
No matter which of the two wins, the vampires win either way. It’s rigged: the House of Nosferatu always wins.
Till next time, with—